For many young women, the prom or graduation is a scaled-down version of their future weddings.  It involves a flurry of activities including the purchase of a dress, shoes and accessories, having your hair, makeup and nails done, arranging for corsages and even a limousine.  In the midst of all these fun preparations, the tricky part can be obtaining a date for the event.  If you are a renaissance woman, or even if you aren’t, asking a guy to your prom or graduation shouldn’t be agonizing.  Here’s how to make the process easier. 

Choose Wisely

Evaluate your options.  Ensure that the person you want to ask is someone whose company you could truly enjoy, not simply the guy that is desired by every girl at school.  Refer to your own social circle.  Perhaps there are boys in that circle of friends that you know you would have a great time with.  Choosing someone such as this instead of a date that is gorgeous but tear-jerkingly boring, is a better option.  Remember, this is one of the most exciting and unforgettable nights of your life.  You don’t want to spend it with someone whose idea of a good time involves monopolizing the conversation with tales of his beer-guzzling and stomach-pumping escapades.   

Smoke Signals

Despite this being the year 2007, our social mores still place enormous pressure on men to initiate everything in a relationship.  Once you’ve determined a potential date, don’t be shy.  Yes, it can be difficult to ask a guy out, especially if you’ve never done it before.  However, you can ease the situation by conveying your interest in him through subtle signals.  Smile at him whenever you see him.  Approach him in the cafeteria and start a casual conversation.  Ask him if you can borrow his biology notes (that is, if you are in the same biology class).  Think of it as a “preparation” stage.  If you come across as bold, friendly and outgoing, you increase your chances of him liking you and wanting to spend more time with you.  As well, having some exposure to this person prior to asking him out allows you the chance to determine if the two of you have any compatibility and builds your confidence levels.

Formulate Your Attack

If a friend can serve as an intermediary and determine if your boy of choice is also into you, take advantage of this invaluable opportunity.  If it is still ambiguous as to whether he likes you, then you need to be direct in your approach; no frills.  Decide if you will ask him in person, by phone or e-mail, or as we did back in my day, by the paper note.  Again, you could have a friend ask him on your behalf, but it is usually not a choice method. 

Choose Your Words

I cannot stress this enough: be casual.  Even if your heart is pounding loudly and you are shaking so badly that you believe you will cry, you need to exude confidence throughout.  I recommend using humour whenever you can.  For example, promise to pick him up in a jalopy similar to the one in Archie Comics and help him tie his bow tie.  By keeping things light, you will be perceived as fun.  Also, be candid yet tactful.  Telling him that you think he’s cool and the two of you would have a fabulous time together is flattering.  However, telling them that you would like to marry him, have his three children (two girls and a boy) and move to Bali with him where you will walk hand-in-hand together on the beach under the stars is crazy.

Accept the Prospect of Rejection 

Now, I think we all know that this story has two possible endings: either he says yes or he says no.  If he says yes, have a great time!  However, if he says no, don’t be terribly disappointed or over-analytical of the situation.  All you can do is accept it, move on and possibly try again.  He has reasons for saying no and they may be honourable or not.  It’s not your problem to figure him out.   

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sadie hawkins, eat your heart out!

Remember though, the odds are in your favour as long as you’ve formulated a solid plan.  Men are as nervous, if not more, about asking women out as we are about asking men out.  It can be a welcome and flattering change for a guy to be asked out by a woman.  So you go, girl! 

Just don’t do the Macarena on the dance floor.