TheSoko.com - Dealing With Dating Doubts

Dealing With Dating Doubts

By Robyn Simpson

[Dating]

Dating Mr. or Ms. Perfect, but not sure if he or she is perfect for you? Robyn Simpson sheds some light on the issue.

I have a confession to make. I might be a bit cynical. I’m also afraid of change. And you could probably accuse me of being picky. So it’s no surprise when I say that I go into every relationship with a list of why I shouldn’t be dating that person. Yes, it’s true; everyone has doubts. Maybe they have a different religion. Maybe the attraction isn’t there. Maybe their toenails gross you out. The strength of these doubts can range from mild to positively crippling. So how do you deal with them?

The Little Things

Let’s say you’re about three months into your relationship. You two are madly in love, but starting to get a little comfortable. Slowly but surely, the rose-coloured glasses are coming off. Sure, you used to think it was cute how he grinds his teeth in his sleep, but after your fifth sleepless night, you’re ready to break his jaw.

Sometimes little quirks can snowball into big annoyances. This is going to sound clichéd, but it’s time to take a step back and look at the big picture. Look at your chemistry together. Look at your communication style. Look at how you two treat each other. Check to see if there are any dealbreakers lurking in the shadows. Finally, try to see if you can envision incorporating him or her into your life on a permanent basis.

If he or she passes those tests, then you have found yourself a keeper. Accept the fact that everyone can have the power to annoy you, including your significant other. Keep in mind why you love him or her in the first place and maybe throw out a few hints about wearing a mouth guard to bed.

The Big Things

Sometimes, my friends, love does not conquer all. Love does not conquer conflicting financial styles. Love also does not conquer your maternal instincts and his phobia of being a father. Love won’t conquer your dreams of a big white wedding and his dreams of eternal bachelorhood either. It will also not slay the demon that is different religious beliefs or fundamental values.

We all have a list of things we absolutely won’t budge on when it comes to dating. Well, we have the list until someone unexpected comes along and challenges it. Or someone provides us with new dealbreakers we hadn’t realized should be on the list. Before you know it, you’re with someone who flies in the face of every relationship rule you’ve ever made.

Congratulations, you have now won yourself two tickets to The Talk. I’m not saying you have to break up, but eventually you’re going to have to discuss your differences. If they aren’t something either one of you is willing to change and if neither of you is willing to put up with them, it’s time to go search out greener pastures.

NEXTContinued on next page...